37 Weeks

I am feeling very, very pregnant. Two Weeks ago, I had another growth ultrasound. She weighed 6 pounds 4 oz. I'm sure she is well over seven pounds now. I have been taking insulin and it doesn't seem to help. My numbers can be very high despite my diet and the insulin. Abigail is still breech, too. I am more convinced that a vaginal breech birth will be the way this baby will be born. The more I have read about breech births, the better I feel. I have attempted (twice) to schedule a ECV, but both times my hospital cancelled the appointment. I am now waiting for a different hospital to contact me to schedule the procedure. Considering I am already 37 weeks and the baby being so big, I sincerely doubt they could even flip her successfully. I have contractions, but I am only dialated to a 1-2cm. Without a head pressing down on my cervix I am not feeling the same pressure as I normally do. I would love a December baby, but her due date would be fine, too.

34 Weeks

I still have a breech girl. I seriously doubt she will flip. Call it a mother's intuition. (But, I also feel like I have twins, so my intuition may not be very reliable.) My pregnant body is taxing every part of me. I take one day at a time. I am seeing the Dr. twice a week and having 2 NST's weekly. My sugars are high and if I can figure out how to get my insurance to cooperate, then I will start taking insulin. Right now, I can not afford $500+/mo on diabetic prescriptions.

Having a breech baby is kinda weird. Her head is firmly planted in the top right of my uterus. It feels like a rock is in my stomach, literally. It can be very uncomfortable at times. I tend to stroke her head a lot and play with her limbs as they come swishing up to her face. Sometimes she likes to scoot into a transverse position, but she always pops right back up. There is a bunch of stuff on the internet that suggests how to flip a baby. But, I am not comfortable with sitting on my head, having voo-doo medicine performed, or throwing away tons of money just to try to move my baby. I figured that she is breech for a reason and I really don't want to mess with her. She could have a cord wrapped around her and if I turned her without medical monitoring, I fear that she would die from cord strangulation. So, I am at peace with just letting her be and trusting that God is watching over her. My thought that I have a twin baby may be preposterous, but I can't shake that feeling. I think that a twin is hiding somewhere behind her. Maybe low tranverse or head down. I have another ultrasound in 5 days, so I will seriously ask the tech to REALLY look.

I still have hems, but I am not being controlled by them anymore. They are still painful at times, but I have learned that the less I "baby" myself, the faster they heal. So, I am no longer laying down. I will lay down for a day when I have one that thrombosed, but that happens once every few weeks now.

I have less BH's and I don't have the weird blood pressure/racing pulse issues. In fact, my blood pressure has dropped back down to 110/70 range again. It was up to the 120/80 range for a couple of months. I did pop into L&D once when it went up to 145/100 once. Crazy.

I am not looking forward to the birth, mainly because I really want to avoid a c/s. My Dr hasn't offered a vaginal birth and I'm nervous talking about it with her. I will spend sometime looking into vaginal breech births and try to answer some of my questions.

31 weeks!

Growth ultrasound today! She weighs 4lbs 7oz! She is breech, too. 

27 week update

Land of bed rest!!

Although I am still happily gestating, I am having quite a difficult pregnancy. I am overjoyed to welcome a new little girl into my life, but if only my body felt the same way! I wasn't expecting this pregnancy to be so hard on me physically. It seems I never get a break. I can't walk around, do chores, cook, or drive anymore. If I do, I will have constant contractions and be in considerable amount of pain. I also have stage four hemorrhoids and the only thing to relieve them is to get off my feet and to lay on my left side. I am coping well, but I am in pain a lot.

I've had to go back to L & D last week for decreased fetal movements. Of course, when I was hooked up to the monitors she moved like 8000 times. A little awkward. I am so grateful that the staff is so kind and understanding.

I had two consults with two different surgeons for my hemorrhoids. The advice was to wait until baby is born because surgery will be excruciatingly painful. I was told my hemorrhoids are the worst possible to have, but other than all the basic first aid care, there is nothing that can be done for me. I was able to get medicated  creams and a Rx pain meds, though. I have to follow a daily regiment of care and it isn't convenient or comfortable. Basically, my body is aching for wellness.

What I do to keep sane on bed rest:
1. I have switched to a one-one-one teaching in my bed for my three youngest. It is actually really effective. I will probably keep this part of our normal routine.
2. I read books to my little ones.
3. I fold the laundry.
4. I am making a lot of crock pot meals, so my time on my feet is limited.
5. I go on pregnancy online forums a lot.
6. I work on stitching projects.
7. I make my bed every day and keep my room tidy. I like being in clean spaces.
8. I am up and dressed after breakfast and always before I start teaching.
9. I worked on our budget.
10. I watch TV.

How Far Along: 27 weeks 3 days

Sleep: I sleep really well, actually. I don't get up to pee. I feel rested and I am sooo grateful for this right now!

General Feeling: I still have the lingering cold. I even took antibiotics, but it didn't help. My body is going through a lot. This is no picnic.

Best Moment of the Week: Homeschooling the kids makes me really happy.

Movement: I feel the baby a lot. It is random and there isn't a pattern. She does moves when she feel like it.

Food Craving: Nothing.

Food Aversions: Nothing. But, I am a gestational diabetic, so I have a lot of "do not eat" foods I avoid.

What I miss: Being up and active and not confined to a bed.

What I'm looking forward to: Washing baby clothes, buying a bassinet, and packing my hospital bags.

Other NEW news this week: My oldest daughter helped move my bed so that I can see my TV when I lay on my left side. I love rearranging furniture, so this made me happy!

Weekly Wisdom: Being grateful and compassionate is better than demanding my way.

Favorite thing I did this week: Finished one of my wool gloves. It is finger-less and has a mitten cap

Favorite item I bought this week: Giving the shopping list for groceries to my husband and letting him take over this job. He is a dear!

More pregnancy drama

So, yesterday morning I woke up and was contracting. It lasted for hours. I finally called my OB and was told to go in to L&D. I was hooked up the the EFM, checked for dilation, had a culture swab test, a urinalysis test, and blood work done. Everything came back normal and I wasn't dilating. I was contracting every few minutes, but they never seemed concerned about that since all the other tests were normal. So, all in all, I spent three hours there.

Today, I feel horrible. My symptoms feel like labor to me:

1. Loss of appetite
2. Cramping intestines and loose stools
3. Pressure in my pelvis when standing and especially when I sit on the toilet
4. Ache in my upper thighs
5. Contractions, but very sporadic. More when sitting up or standing.
6. A feeling of unease

Hopefully, these feelings will pass and little Abigail will stay in for the duration of this pregnancy. 

24 weeks!

Expecting a girl!!

I am so excited that I will be welcoming another precious daughter into my life. So happy!!!

What Michael chatters...

Michael David (now 21 months) is finally starting to talk much more than grunts and points. His first word was "ball," followed closely with "dad." I love the things he says now and I wanted to document it before I forget. He recently started calling Summer, "G," because sometimes Summer goes by her nickname, "Summer G," with "G" being short for her middle name "Grace." He loves jumping on the trampoline and affectionately calls it his "boom-boom." He loves trains and calls them "choo-choo." He loves to fist-bump and makes the "bomb" sound after he bumps fists. He calls guitars, "uh-gar." He calls apples, "bapples." He gives kisses and hugs and makes the cutest pucker I have ever seen! He says, "down" for sitting/getting down and for getting up. When laughing hard and loud he makes a "wha-ha-ha" laugh! He calls me "mom, mama, and mooooom!" He calls Brianna "nanna" and Paul "paul." He hasn't yet used a name for Emily or Zoey yet, though. He loves to copy Zoey. He also says "no" with the most naughty and cutest manner...shaking his head, deep frown, and an overall dislike. I wish I could just let that one slide...:)

21 weeks

How Far Along: 21 weeks 1 day

Sleep: Sleep is pretty much the same, except the past few days I am fighting a nasty sore throat that wakes me up at night (3am). I also have to sleep upright because the sore throat makes it hard to breathe.

General Feeling: Still feeling good (except for this icky cold).

Best Moment of the Week: Homeschool is back in the swing of things, so life is busy-exciting.

Movement: Now, I feel baby mainly in the middle and mostly at night, still.

Food Craving: Still enjoying the savory foods! Last night was grilled chicken and veggie kabobs marinated in honey-soysauce (all homemade, of course!).

Food Aversions: Most raw veggies. I eat plenty of vegetables, but they are mostly steamed, grilled, or baked. I will eat a savory salad, though! (same)

Gender: I have a strong feeling that the baby is a girl still. Next Monday I find out (four days!)

Exercise: Nope. Just on my feet all day and cleaning and cooking and chasing a toddler.

What I miss: Not bumping into walls.

What I'm looking forward to: Finding out the sex of the baby in four days!

Other NEW news this week: I finished putting up all the decor in my room since Chris and I switched bedrooms two months ago.

Weekly Wisdom: Water is my friend!

Favorite thing I did this week: Making homemade dessert. My pies are the BEST! (I have to keep this one...I love sweets!)

Favorite item I bought this week: A glider and foot rest from my neighbor across the street. She was having a garage sale. I needed one and it was the perfect style, fit, and size. So happy!

20 weeks

I am half way there! :)

How Far Along: 20 weeks 1 day

Sleep: I am sleeping through the night and I definitely feel more rested. Michael is also no longer waking up most nights, so this is a bonus as well. He goes back to bed quickly if Chris (and I have to wake Chris) goes in his room and soothes him with some back rubs, a tuck, or a little snuggle. I aim to go to bed at 10:30 pm. It is much easier if Chris is not playing a video game or watching a Netflix show. He has agreed to go to the living room if he wants to stay up later so he won't keep me up.

General Feeling: I feel so great! Overnight, I seemed to have a new self. I can breathe normal again. I don't feel fatigued. I can clean the house, prepare and serve meals, and spend quality time with my children and husband. Just in time for homeschooling! I am having heartburn more often, but not so often that I pop tums or anything.

Best Moment of the Week: Making my smashingly awesome meals! I love to cook and to eat, so having the energy to bless my family (and my belly, too!) has been something to praise for!

Movement: I feel baby move down low and mostly late at night while laying in bed. Sometimes I will feel baby move while sitting down during the day, but that is still rare.

Food Craving: Anything savory. My meals have all been rich and full flavor. I am living in food paradise. Chris' reaction is edifying, too.

Food Aversions: Most raw veggies. I eat plenty of vegetables, but they are mostly steamed, grilled, or baked. I will eat a savory salad, though!

Gender: I have a strong feeling that the baby is a girl still. Nine more days and I will hopefully find out the great news!

Exercise: I am now back in my normal housework cycle, so I feel very fit. I work up a sweat!

What I miss: Having a glass of wine. I would love a glass of Merlot as I soak in the tub at night. Sooo relaxing and delicious! I think that I deserve it. I wonder what my OB would say to that?

What I'm looking forward to: Homeschool starting on Tuesday, knitting booties for the baby, and the leaves changing.

Other NEW news this week: This is kinda last week news, but... I cut my hair! I love it. My life is much easier without fussing with 1 1/2 feet of thick, curly hair.

Weekly Wisdom: Schedules are useful to run a happy home. One can never be overly grateful.

Favorite thing I did this week: Making homemade dessert. My pies are the BEST!

Favorite item I bought this week: A canning pot. I made four pints of strawberry jelly for the first time ever! So fun!

A night at the ER

Yesterday was weird. I woke up and had what felt like a panic attack. My pulse was racing and my emotions were everywhere. I felt a strong uneasiness that I couldn't shake or ignore. I had been struggling with taking deep breaths for over a week now, so the lack of deep breathing coupled with these new symptoms prompted me to call my OB. Strangely, the advice given was to call my regular primary care DR and have him give me something (drugs) for the anxiety. I guffawed at the suggestion. I am not feeling anxiety or worry or stressed. The "panicky" feeling was not due to lifestyle issues. I knew that it was the cause of something else. I did not call my Dr, and decided to rest instead. The symptoms lasted all day and into the night. Then, around 7:30pm, I began to have stabbing pain under my left armit and the top of my chest on the same side. THIS pain was crazy intense. Everytime I took a breath, it would hurt. I let it continue on and finally had to call my OB 1 1/2hrs later. She said to go to the ER. I went it right away. My vitals were all normal. They listened to baby's heart tones: 150bpm...perfect! They took some blood, hooked me up to an EKG, and then gave me a CT scan of my chest. The CT scan was interesting. The dye being injected was the most interesting part. It felt instantly hot all over. The back of my throat felt like I just had a warm drink, too. My groin was so hot that I thought I peed on myself. So weird! I waited for an hour for the results. Totally normal. No blood clots. Heart perfect. Blood work all normal. So, the diagnosis was literally "We don't know what your problem is, so take two tylenol." Wow. Modern medicine. Such a wonder? The Dr and staff were all great. This morning, as I type this, I am feeling just fine.

19 Weeks

I thought it would be fun to do a pregnancy questionaire.

How Far Along: 18 weeks 6 days

Total Weight Gained: 20 pounds. I don't weigh myself and only get on the scale at the OB's appointments. I always hate the large numbers and it bothers me, but there is nothing I can change about it. I am going to gain a lot. I always do. I have GD and no matter what I do, I will blow up like a balloon and get all fat and squishy. Then, I start to lose it once the baby comes and life goes back to normal. As long as baby and my vitals are all good (blood pressure, heart rate, blood sugars, movement, growth of baby, etc) than it's all Ok with me with what I gain or don't.

Maternity Clothes: I have a very pathetic wardrobe. My body size has changed dramatically and so quickly that all of my previous maternity clothes do not fit. I also have removed anything in my closet that has one stitch of polyester/nylon/etc on it. I can only wear cotton, nothing heavy or tight, near my neck, or long sleeved. My favorite outfit is my maternity skirts from Target (which are not cotton, but I can live with it since they are very comfy and light weight), cotton tank tops, and flip flops! I bought some new cotton nursing bras that I like, but I really do prefer to go braless if I can. I shop at thrift stores and the selection is not very good, but I did find about a half a dozen shirts, two shorts, two exercise spandex shorts for exercising, and two cotton pants for lounging. I do not own any pants that I can go out in public with.

Sleep: Pretty good. I don't get up to pee any longer. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night, but I typically go right back to bed. If I wake up very early in the morning I cannot go back to bed, though.

General Feeling: I can't breathe normal any longer. My uterus is officially pushing into my diaphragm and I am constantly lacking the deep breathing that I am used too. It is a terrible feeling and utterly out of my control. It makes it hard for me to function. I also can't bend over comfortably. If I drop anything, it stays there until I get a kid to pick it up. I drink a ton of water since I always feel thirsty. My hems are still around but only bother me after a bm. Tux hem cream works wonders. I still hate smells and still shower a lot.

Best Moment of the Week: Feeling the baby kick!

Movement: This morning after I woke up and was lying in bed I felt a nice kick at the very top of my uterus, which is right at my ribs. Last night I had a kick at the very bottom of my uterus. So, baby must have flipped. Too cute!

Food Craving: My soup craving is all over. So is my salad cravings. I don't have any cravings at the moment. I am back to one cup of coffee a day, though. I was super addicted to popcorn I bought at a christian concert fair we went to two weeks ago. I ate a bag or two a day, for four straight days. I stopped craving that as soon as the concert was over, though.

Food Aversions: I don't have a real strong desires for any specific foods lately. I eat what we have and kinda always feel underwhelmed and unsatisfied.

Gender: No clue.

Labor Signs: Nope, but lots of uterus and ligament stretching. I double over on those sometimes.

Belly Button: I have in inny, but my previous pregnancies created a belly button hernia, so it is always bugging me. I am constantly pushing it back into place. Gross and painful at times.

Stretch Marks: Most definitely! The tummy ones are very bright red now.

Wedding Ring: Took mine off during my first trimester.

Exercise: Nope

What I Miss: Running. I am a runner and it is something that defines who I am. Not being able to run is pure torture. I can barely walk, too. I stopped all exercise last week since I suffered with so much pain and fatigue.

What I'm Looking Forward To: My ultrasound in three weeks. Chris will be with me and we will find out the gender. I can't wait. I also want to see if they missed a twin. I have a strong feeling that I am carrying two, so I am secretly hoping they find a second baby.

Other NEW News This Week: The fence my husband built is complete, so my entire front and back yard is secure. I can now rest a little more knowing I have added security for my children.

Weekly Wisdom: Training a toddler is essential and should never be ignored.

Favorite Item Bought This Week: My eldest daughter heard me say I wanted a coke. So, she jumped on her bike and bought me a soda fountain diet coke at the nearest gas station. LOVE!

Kicking Finally!

I can finally feel the baby kicking and I couldn't be more pleased! I kept wondering when I would feel the baby and was surprised it took until 19 weeks!

It started with a few little bumps that was barely noticeable a couple days ago. Then, I felt the first obvious kicks when I rolled onto my side in my bed the next day. Now and then I feel little kicks here and there when I am sitting down. The little movements are all over. So unless I have a surprise twin in there, this baby must be an acrobat! The kicks are so tiny and cute!

Switched back to my favorite OB

So, a couple months ago I decided to try a new OB that is affiliated with the closest hospital that doesn't ban VBAC's. I was OK with this decision for a little while. But, I kept having a nagging urge to return to my last OB. She was so awesome and the VBAC-banned hospital never gave me one bit of grief! I was a little unsure if she would keep me as a patient again, so I avoided that possible scenario and just opted for a new OB. I finally came to my senses and returned to her. She was laughing at my fear that I would be dropped as her patient. So, I am back with my beloved OB and have never felt better. I know I can be fickle and difficult and complicated. Oh well.

16 Weeks!

My lovely, amazing family!

From left to right, back row: Chris (hubby), Susie (me), Brianna (13)
From left to right, front row: Paul (10), Summer (8), Emily (6), Zoey (4), and Michael (20mo)

I wanted to mention that my uterus is huge! I started to feel it when I was 6 weeks pregnant. Now, it is past my belly button, very round, hard, and kinda lop-sided (favoring the right side). Besides having a jumbo uterus, I have a jumbo body! I look six months pregnant and am the heaviest I have ever been this early in pregnancy. My thighs and butt compete with the large belly bump, too! I am not a heavy girl normally. In fact, I am a runner and am very athletic. I have the build of an athlete, too. I have struggled with losing baby weight over the years. Sometimes, I lose it with great success, other times, I steadily stayed at a size 10 and was a bit over my "normal" weight limit. Unfortunately, with this pregnancy, I started out very heavy. I gained 30lbs last fall and add that to the 20+lbs I hadn't lost from my last pregnancy = I am officially a fat pregnant woman. I usually gain a super ton of weight, like 40-60 pounds, too for all my pregnancies. I have never been good with restricting food. I don't eat like crap, but if I want a burger or ice cream, I will eat it. Typically, I eat very balanced, normal-portion-size, healthy meals. Gaining weight is just how my body grows babies.

On another note, I still haven't felt the baby kick, move, roll, or hiccup yet. I wish she/he would just give me a "what's up!" bump. I never really connect with my babies until then.

Yucky Pregnancy Woes:

I have seriously painful uterus-ligament cramps. It started four weeks ago and has progressively gotten worse. I literally double over and can't move. I can't make sudden moves, get up quickly, pick up heavy objects, etc.

I have massive phobia of odor and this includes myself and everyone else around me. I shower a couple times a day so I can feel clean. If Chris' breath stinks, I tell him to brush his teeth. If my son is smelly, he goes into the shower. The towels need to be free of any funk, too. My poor family!  What they have to put up with during this pregnancy!

It's been a while since I last posted. My lack of entries was due to a long time of sickness. I am feeling more like myself now that the morning sickness has passed. I am 15 week pregnant today.

My Cravings:
1. Soups - I love all varieties and eat one or two cans of soup a day.
2. Steamed veggies - Broccoli, Brussels sprouts, mixed veggies.
3. Seafood - I wish I was eating salmon right now!
4. Steak on the grill - Yes!!

Food Aversions:
1. Cereal - Makes me feel sick and thirsty.
2. Raw Veggies - I can only eat lettuce. Every raw vegetable makes me sick to my stomach. (I used to be Vegan!)
3. Peanut butter and other nuts - gives me stomach aches
4. Whole Grain Pasta - Takes like cardboard...so gross!!

I haven't met my Ob yet. I have had two appointments with the NP, though. I had my 13 week scan and baby looks good.

12 week baby (ultrasound)

My precious baby ultrasound:

11 week baby

Is this laziness ever going to stop?

Deep in my bones, all I want to do is stay in bed and watch TV all day. I am always tired and have zero energy to do anything. I know that that desire is the pregnancy taking over, but I can't help feeling frustrated and depressed by this feeling of laziness. It is not like me to have one bone of laziness, so I feel lost and confused by this sudden bought of laziness. How can I keep going like this? I have six children and all the responsibilities of running a home. My children help out with their chores, but it isn't enough to keep my the house from slowly turning into a pig-sty. I honestly have no clue how to navigate this challenge. When I do get up and moving and try to do housework, I become nauseous and fiercely exhausted. It takes me all day to wash several loads of laundry, fold, and put away. Normally, that would take me an hour to do it all. If I sweep the floor, pick up toys off the floor, wipe the dining room table, or wipe down the bathroom surfaces, I am slower than molasses. Afterwards I have to sit on the couch, put my feet up and take a nap. The only way I feel OK is being still and doing nothing. I keep telling myself that my body is working overtime making this baby, but my brain is saying: MOVE! But, I really, truly can't. Many times, I just lay on the couch and think about all that I need to get done. It's depressing to have no energy and just to stay put. Maybe I should hire a maid? I am grateful for a husband that is oblivious to the mess. He is a blessing and so graceful to me.

The areas that I know aren't "causing" this tiredness and feeling of laziness:

I am not anemic nor do I have blood sugar issues. Blood work is perfect.
I get enough sleep at night and I take naps.
I eat plenty of healthy foods.
I take vitamins.
I drink tons of water.

So what gives?

10 week baby

The shopping trip for maternity clothes

I got out my maternity storage bin weeks ago, since I was showing so early. I started out 35lbs heavier than my last pregnancy, so most of the clothes were too tight in the booty region. Plus, I saved only a couple of my favorites from a couple of past couple pregnancies ago (they were not that great to begin with!). So, my pickings were slim and not flattering. After wearing my only pair of comfy jean shorts (with a frayed waist preggy-strechy-band) seven days in a row, I decided to go shopping. I am a thrift store junky, but the thrift stores in this town are slim pickings for maternity so I thought maybe I needed to go shopping in a "real" store.

My husband needed to do some of his own clothes shopping, so we made a "date" out of the excursion. First we went to Target. Boy what a disappointment! The selection was small and mostly everything was made with thin polyester/nylon fabric that would cling to every bump and roll of my body! I actually believe the mirrors in the dressing room are pure evil.  Because, as soon as I entered the dressing room, I saw a hideous woman glaring back at me. Right then and there, I had a silent tantrum. Everything about me is ugly right now and the Target mirrors was proof that I couldn't hide from the truth. My long, cury hair is a frizzy, straw, poofy mess and the only thing I can do is sport a bun or pull it back into a pony-tail. My face is doted with pimples, and wearing make-up is uncomfortable because my skin is so sensitive. I am normally a thin, athletic build, but right now I am officially "overweight" and it shows in my belly, thighs, and butt. Staring at my image, I was not impressed. Plus, my white shirt, which was a bit too tight, displayed a food stain I got during lunch, really put a nice touch on my whole image. Despite my pity party in the dressing room, I did manage to find a skirt I liked:  so I bought two (one blue and one black). I cringed when I spent over forty dollars for TWO pieces of clothing, though!

My wonderful husband was such a great moral-support. I don't know how he puts up with my sour, pitiful, self-bashing moods? I know he sees my flaws, but he chooses to "see" the real me and tells me how beautiful I really am. All day he kept lovingly rebuking me (and teasing me, too). I snarled at him and tried to point out how wrong he was, but secretly every word he said was like balm to my soul.

We went shopping in the mall, next. He bought us both Clinique face cleaning products. My normal face cleansing routine is baby soap and witch hazel (if I remember to find the time to wash my face or feel a strong need to pamper myself). So, buying a department-store face-soap was waaay out of my league and budget. But, my husband wanted me to be treated and feel as beautiful as I am. I love this man! Normally, I can't stand my husband's spending habits, but this was a time for me to be gracious and let him spend money on me. I felt loved.

Next, we stopped by "Motherhood Maternity." I have collected a lot of their clothes from thrift stores or hand-me-downs, but I never bought more than a nursing bra from their store, and it was probably on sale and probably the least expensive one, too. I'm embarrassed to admit that I was actually wearing that bra, from probably three pregnancies ago. It has certainly seen better days! I only found one display of 100% cotton, short-sleeve shirts, and the price tag was $30! I tried on a swimsuit cover-up and was not impressed (also a heafty $30 bucks!).

My husband bought the clothes he needed at JC Penny, and then we headed to Goodwill. God knew all along how desperate and pathetic I was. He provided me with a bounty of clothes as a testimony of his care and provision of providing for my needs! The maternity section was bursting with clothes and I managed to find a good selection and enough clothes for this summer. Plus, I didn't break the bank.

Nine Week Baby

The news is out and the rudeness has begun.

Well, I suppose it was going to happen sooner than later. Chris told the Facebook world that I am pregnant. Most comments were congratulatory and sweet. A couple people posted the "har-har" jokes of "you-know-how-that-happens-right?" Those people suck. One friend actually came to our defense and said that we make the most beautiful babies and our children are remarkable and the world is a better place because we are raising them so well! (I loved her for saying that!)

Before Chris told the world, I had already told a couple people. My mom was the first. I told her the day I had a positive pregnancy test. One friend found out when I was four weeks pregnant after my 3 year old blurted it out. (I forbade her from telling people.) A lady at church last week asked me straight out if I was pregnant. Since I was at church I felt weird about lying, so I told her. Another friend at church got up in my face and demanded to know why I have been missing church lately. I didn't have the energy to blow her off, so I told her, I was having morning sickness. She immediately told her husband who was standing near her.

So, this morning at church, a lot of people congratulated me. One lady oohed-and-awed over my belly bump. She was sweet, but I was embarrassed. Then, it happened. One lady said to me, "You guys waited a long time to tell people this time." Now, if I was already in the middle of my second trimester, than yes, I would agree with her. But, I was eight weeks pregnant when my husband revealed my pregnancy. But, this rude lady saw my HUGE belly and just assumed I was further along. "No," I said, "I am only nine weeks." Stupid, ignorant, inconsiderate people, who do nothing but stick their nose in my private business are the worst!! One lady asked me about due date. (sigh) People only ask about due dates only when you look big, not when you are in your first trimester. I hate rude people.

My first prenatal!

I decided to go with a different OB for this birth. I LOVED my last OB I had with Michael, but the hospital she is affiliated with is not supportive of VBAC's. This policy was in place when I was expecting Michael, but my OB and I both made a silent agreement to go ahead and ignore the hospital policy and come into L&D when I was in active labor and have my baby vaginally. Basically, a hospital cannot deny a pregnant women medical care if she is considered "nontransferable." A women in labor is "nontransferable" and cannot be sent away, so the hospital would have no choice but to  "allow" me to deliver there. I was grateful for a supportive doctor, willing to buck the system to make sure I got the birth I wanted. I came into the hospital exactly as planned, completely dilated and ready to push. I felt that was too close for call, however! Even though the birth was uneventful and went as planned, I can't guarantee that this birth will have the same outcome. Nor can I guarantee that she would be willing or able to work with me like this again. In addition, I was never comfortable giving birth in that hospital. After all, the policy for not allowing VBAC's was based on the inadequate emergency staffing (OR staff and 24/hr anesthesiologist). If I were to need an emergency c/s, how could this hospital guarantee the best services if they aren't prepared for it? Frankly, the hospital should provide a mandatory 24 hr OR & Anesthesiologist staff for all pregnant women, regardless of their risk factor. I am choosing a hospital that supports VBAC's to reduce my concerns and experience more comfort and ease around the time of the birth. I feel more comfortable with a hospital that I am welcome any time, whether in active labor, or not. One of the stipulations my last OB made with me was that I had to go into labor before my due date. I felt pressured into inducing labor, instead of letting my body go naturally.  I made a choice to have my membranes stripped and drink castor oil in order to induce labor. Having my membranes stripped is very invasive and painful. I will never do that again! The castor oil works very strongly and I went from no contractions to full blown labor in no time. The diarrhea and constant cramping associated with the castor oil is unrelenting and gives me horrendous hemorrhoids. My previous labors with castor oil have always led to precipitous labor with uncontrolled pushing and horrible 1st and 2nd degree tears. This time, I plan on doing everything on my terms and not be forced to do anything that isn't medically unnecessary. So, I am driving the 40 minutes to each of my prenatals and to the hospital when I go into labor. The hospital is also much nicer and provides a quality of care the other hospital cannot match.

On Tuesday, I completed nearly of a four-part prenatal appointment. The first part consisted of a nice chat with the head nurse, Brenda, where we went over my pregnancy and health history. I was pretty impressed that I could remember all of my children's birth weights. It was a lot of fun to chat with her. She even shared some of her birth stories with me. Her children are all grown and it has been several decades since she last gave birth, but no matter how many years have gone by, giving birth is a lasting memory.

The second part of my appointment was my ultrasound. I was secretly hoping for twins, but we only saw one little baby and his/her large yolk sac/ blob looking thing. The heartbeat was 166 bpm: healthy & strong! The baby was sitting on his/her head at first. Then, the ultrasound tech said that the baby flipped onto his/her bottom when she returned  to take another peak after she finished the scan of my uterus and ovaries. I was surprised that the baby was measuring younger than I was calculating. I am certain when Chris and I had sex and it seems highly improbable for his sperm to survive for over a week. The baby was 7 weeks 6 days, instead of 8 weeks 4 days. The due date was changed from January 10th to January 15th. The ultrasound picture was odd, to me. There is a baby and a blob next to it. The tech said it was the yolk sac, but it doesn't have a spherical shape. Weird. The gestational sac look huge, to me, as well. I don't remember any of my other ultrasound pics to looking so odd. I just have a strange feeling that something was amiss in that ultrasound. I will be going back for my NT scan in four weeks, so hopefully I will see more of baby and put my uneasiness to rest.

My third part of the prenatal appointment was lab work.

I was supposed to complete the final portion of my prenatal; the physical and pap, but the nurse had to cancel due to a family emergency.

So, today, I completed my final part of the prenatal and met a wonderful nurse, Jane. My next prenatal appointment is scheduled for July 3rd with my OB.

Eight week baby (ultrasound)

My baby at eight weeks:

A picture of a fetus inside the womb:

Baby at Seven Weeks

Tired and no energy

I have no energy. Nothing. My go, go, go self is taking a vacation. All I want to do is eat, sleep, and lay around in bed. Brushing my teeth is so physically challenging that I am considering stopping. Just this morning, I left my water bottle on my desk across the room, and I whimpered because I had to hop out of bed and fetch it. I just don't want to move from my bed. I just want to curl in a ball and sleep, watch TV, surf the internet, and rest. I begrudgingly go upstairs, but only because I have to go to the kitchen so I can feed myself. It would be so much easier if meals were brought to me, but I live in the real world. I'm not even sure my husband will bring me my dinner. Life sucks right now.

Why I am waiting to announce my pregnancy

I am a private person. Putting together this blog is kinda a big deal for me. Being able to blog when and what I want about my pregnancy, is very satisfying. I have had many pregnancies and as soon as I tell people, I feel instantly awkward and exposed. People no longer talk to me, they talk to pregnant-me. And what they say to me can be rude, obnoxious, and plain irritating.These people are usually not coming from the same place I am, in regards to family size, pregnancy, and birth. So, I get a lot of unwanted advice and opinions. I hear the comment: "You know how this (my pregnancy) happens, right?" ALL the time. I also hear about the size of my belly, A LOT. My age seems to be a topic some like to bring up. (Rude, right?) I am a pastor's wife and by nature, I am treated like public property. No one seems to realize that I am an introvert and I do not appreciate being stopped by 50+ people every Sunday so they can touch my belly, tell me I look huge, and question my gestation status. One person may initiate one conversation and not realize they are overwhelming me, but I am forced to endure one conversation with multiple people and it is pure torture for me. Lately, I am avoiding going to church and it feels right. I am just delaying these conversations and I am hoping to do so for another month or so.

Morning time..blah

Rearranging Day!

It starts like any normal day, but then something clicks in my brain. It is like an overwhelming itch that I must scratch. The need to rearrange my space must be fulfilled! So, yesterday, I went for it!

1. I moved the TV, Playstation, and cable/modem boxes off the black cube shelf onto the fireplace mantel. 
2. I removed three of the colorful cube baskets and put baby books, paper, and the coloring basket on the shelves.
3. I moved the cube shelf to the right of the fireplace, took off the tea set and put a large black lamp on it.
4. I moved the maple server/game cabinet to the left of the fireplace and put the phone and a small black lamp on it.
5. I removed some candle holders and kept three and placed them on the left hand side of the fireplace mantel.
6. I moved both couches. The large on is against the wall, in  front of the living room windows. The love seat is facing the couch.
7. I took the white high back chair downstairs.
8. I took the throw rug off the floor.
9. I removed the coffee table and the side table.
10. I removed the desk and the plastic drawers and file cabinets. 
11. I took off the white lamp from the piano and removed other clutter.
12. I removed all but on vase that was on top of the craft cabinet.
13. I moved the craft cabinet to the left of the kitchen entryway.
14. I moved the high chair to the right of the kitchen entryway.
15. I took the floor lamp downstairs.
16. I rearranged downstairs and now I have a nice living room space in my large bedroom suite.
17. I even moved the maple drop table to one of the corners in the room downstairs and now I have a puzzle table!

Is running over for me?

It has been four days since my last run. Friday's run was a real wake-up call. I was over-the-top exhausted and wasn't able to get out of bed for the rest of the day. I wasn't running fast, but I knew while running that I was probably not going to run again for a while.

There will be plenty of time to run later. For now, I will let my body make this baby and rest as much as I need.

Morning sickness

This morning I did "fake-vomit." You know the type: dry heaving, gagging, incessant burping, and lots of saliva. That was me, hunched over the toilet, first thing this morning. (Now, I realize my toilet needs a good cleaning!) At any rate, I am officially starting the journey of "morning sickness." I typically just feel supremely nauseous and luckily, rarely vomit. The nausea is terrible enough, though, and I am dreading it.

Maternity Clothes, already!

Well, I am officially in my maternity clothes. After so many babies, my uterus is trained to go big...fast! I can feel the top of it just below my belly button. My entire belly is huge! I have always showed early and I always look big, but this time, I really look big! Like, 5 months big!! I am not fat, I am a athletic build. My extra belly fat from the last pregnancy adds a few inches, but truly, this is the normal look for me. Big belly!!

So, I am comfy in my maternity clothes and happy!

6 week Embryo

Embryo at Five Weeks

Seriously, my emotions are Cr@zA!

Oh, my...I am pregnant with emotions! I cry every morning, after breakfast, like clockwork. And, it's ugly. Sobbing, whining, pitiful, tight-fisted air pumps! I just let the emotions flow, then they subside, and I go about my day. Then, the emotions come back a couple more times, throughout the day.  At odd times, too, and for strange reasons. I am a emotional person by nature, but these emotions are coming out of nowhere and scaring the crap out of me. I am not depressed. I am not worried. I am not distressed. Perhaps I am so fatigued, that common every day issues are magnified and feel insurmountable. I know that my hormones are also playing a big role. I guess I need to just let them ebb and flow...

What is making me "lose it:"

• My husband reading a book.
• Spilled corn.
• Laundry.
• Needing spell check, like I need oxygen.
• Feeling tired.
• Children asking too many questions.
• Lost sunglasses.
• Any type of mess (pretty much anywhere my eyes rest).
• Leaking garbage disposal.
• Stubbing my toes, bumping my elbows, and shins (I guess I am clumsy?).
• Recognizing weakness in my character.
• Acknowledging my need for God, since I feel so weak.
• My husband laughing at me when I told him about the corn.

God & My Expectations

I sure do expect a lot from people. It is part of my personality type, so I count it as a strength. Yet, even good things can go awry when it isn't tempered with wisdom and humility. The ideals I have for myself, my husband, and children are what bonds us as a family. I strive and uphold the expectations for godliness and love. In return, our family is connected by a commitment to love and support each other with Christ as the center.

But not every ideal I have for myself and for my family is healthy. A lot of what I expect of my loved ones can easily turn into resentment and discontent, in my heart. Good expectations are that my husband will always love me and be faithful to me, that he provides for his family, and is a Godly man. I have good expectations that my house be some-what clean, and my children are loving and obedient. When I began to raise the level of my expectations to a higher ideal than I should be striving for, I become easily angered and frustrated. My disapproval towards my husband and children is evident by my lack of joy.

I lack of gratefulness and joy, because I am too busy grumbling and complaining over unfulfilled ideals I set for my loved ones. I find that if my ideals of a "perfect marriage," "perfect mom," and "perfect  kids," cause fraught and worry, I need to reevaluate my thinking. I am a dreamer and a risk taker, so often times I aim high for higher ideals. But, reality and my fantasy ideals are often miles apart.

I love how God steps in for me and takes over for me. When I surrender "my rights" to achieve my ideals;  a perfect marriage, a clean house, totally obedient children, etc., I can finally praise God and be a joy to my family. I don't need to be in control and force a perfect image on my family. I look to God, who simply wants me to love and obey. When I do, I feel free to live and love my family.

Video is powerful!

My First Video Blog!

Prenatal Vitamins

I bought the expensive stuff today! No more over-the-counter freebies from the grocery store. I refuse to feel sick and languish in a blah-state. I usually stopped taking prenatals or just never took them, because my symptoms were so bad. I'm pretty sure I was digesting very toxic ingredients. I may have actually decreaced my bodies own absorption of other vital nutrients, too. After all  when I took prenatals or any vitamin, I had these symptoms:

• All-day malaise
• Nausea
• Constipation
• Belching
• Heartburn
• Headaches

So, I broke the bank and spent $45 on a 60-day raw Prenatal Vitamin Code vitamins by Garden of Life. It is time to be as healthy and loving I can be to myself and baby.

I wanted something with whole foods (nutrients taken right from fruits and vegetables) and no questionable ingredients, even something as mundane as food coloring. I didn't want chemically manufactured synthetic vitamins. I don't eat margarine or artificial sweeteners, so why would I want "fake" nutrients?

Farmer's Market

I took all the kiddos to the Farmer's Market today. They just opened last week. It was scantly stocked, but the selection was good and we left with an abundance of fruit and veggies. The strawberries (we bought them ALL) were so darn good. It was like a party exploded in my mouth. It literally tasted like jam. So sweet and juicy. Mmmmm...I did buy one item I never have before: large Chili's. I think I will stuff them with rice, sausage, and cheese and bake them. Yum! (Of course, I will check with Google, first!)

I am really trying to eat as healthy as I can these days. I am running every day (up to four miles) and I am eating lots of protein, dairy, fruits and veggies. I just bought raw prenatal vitamins from a health food store. I never could tolerate the regular Rx vitamins. Crossing my finger these will not make me want to vomit! I am going to bake some yummy-healthier desserts for the kiddos tomorrow. Much excitement, since the main ingredient is dark chocolate. Ya, baby!

I bought another ball for Michael. He loves them so much and I have been wanting a dodge ball for the kids for ages. Having a child who has a deep love for balls makes me so happy. It is pure entertainment to watch a toddler carry around an 18" bouncy ball or throw a heavy basketball. (love!)

Emotions will no longer control me, dang it!

I can get pretty emotional and I spiral into a huge pity-party fairly quickly. Of course, I have all the "right!" I justify my emotions and reactions. After all, it is always someone else's fault. I cling onto the hurts I've endured like I am a suffering martyr. If Chris didn't do "a,b,c..." than I would be sniffing the roses and singing praise songs, and joyfully loving and serving my family.

I am "so over" with my predictable reaction when I am hurt. I am sick of how I act and the choices I make when I am hurt. From today on, I am ready to start living a life full of joy and faith, instead of one based on the "magnificent-controlling-world-of-Susie!"

I am not trying to bash myself. Actually, I need a swift kick in my arrogant, selfish ass. But, mainly, I love myself and I realize that I alone can make the choice to be happy or not.

I shouldn't wait around hoping my circumstances, people, or things will make me happy. I just need to do it! I have so much to be grateful for and so many things that which brings me joy.

If I want peace and love with my husband, I will forgive him, show him love, respect, and humility. I will let God handle the rest (you know, my husband's sin...never was my job!).

I will stop being such a lazy butt, full of pity, and get back to raising these kiddos, managing my home, and cooking this baby in my belly!

This was good....getting that out...I feel inspired and free...

Nutrition

Foods I will focus on:

1. Protein - 80 grams of protein every day. This will help with reducing morning sickness (haven't had any yet) and prevent preclampsia and other complications.

2. Fats - Red meat, butter, eggs, olive oil, coconut oil, nuts, and dairy. Consuming adequate fats is absolutely vital to baby's organ and brain development.

3. Vegetables and Fruit - Variety of vitamins, minerals, and fiber all important for pregnancy. Eating a lot of green leafy vegetables will raise my vitamin K levels which will help to prevent postpartum hemorrhage.

5. Water - My blood volume will increase by 50% and my body has to provide fluid to replenish the amniotic fluid the baby is in. Drinking a gallon a day can help fight off morning sickness, prevent constipation, and keep baby and I hydrated.

My Diet will include:

• Whole Milk
• Greek Yogurt
• Butter, Olive Oil, Coconut Oil, and Avocados
• Cheese
• 2 or more eggs, daily
• Salmon, 2-4 times week
• Beans, ecspecially black beans & hummus
• Red meat & Chicken
• Sweet potatoes
• Fresh colorful vegetables and fruits
• Dark green, leafy vegetables
• Walnuts and Almonds
• Berries

Happy Mother's Day

I never get breakfast in bed, but I sure do get a lot of love showered on me. I'd rather have their love & homemade gifts and cards than burnt toast, sour orange juice and rubbery eggs anyway. My husband is a pastor, so Sunday will never be a proper Mother's Day, so we usually do something special on Saturday instead. We drove 45 minutes to the only decent mall and spent several hours having a blast. We went to our favorite place first: the bookstore. I bought two of my favorite children's board books: "The Little Mouse, The Red Ripe Strawberry, and The Big Hungry Bear," and "Goodnight, Gorilla." We read those two books so much over the years, they literally fell apart. I always wanted to replace them, so I did! Brianna, my teenager, was reminiscing the days when I would read "goodnight, Gorilla" to her. She said she could hear my voice when she read the book. It was one her all-time favorite books. Now, my other little ones will enjoy it, too! After the bookstore, we visited the toy store. Michael loves balls, so I pulled out bouncy balls for him to play with. Then, I had to take Zoey to the bathroom, which of course was all the way to the other side of the mall. That was just fine, because I got to walk hand-in-hand with one of my favorite people and talk! After having a fun trip to the toy store and purchasing a deck of cards, we decided to go on a Merry-Go-Round ride. Emily was my buddy and she was a bit nervous, but I calmed her down and she had a blast.  After the fun ride, we went to the overcrowded play area where Michael, Zoey, and Emily got to run around and try to avoid being knocked over by boisterous little boys. Brianna, Paul, and Summer played a game of cards while the little played. (I knew they would need something fun to do, and I was a genius!) Chris found a Vietnamese Restaurant on his phone, so we packed up the kids and headed out. The Restaurant was great! We love Pho and it was a treat, indeed! It was a fun and special day. I love adventures the most with my family.

Happy Mother's Day!

Loving my babies and making babies are my favorite things to do! I am truly blessed to have six amazing children. They are kind, loving, fun, smart, exciting, curious, generous, encouraging, determined, and devoted to each other. I am enriched by being their mother! I can't wait to meet this little one and share in the joy and wonder of her/his life, too!

I will plan on watching as many home birth videos as I can today! It will be my Mother's Day Present to myself. :)

Week Five Belly Pic

So much to write, so little time!

I would love to write more, but I find it a challenge to think of something interesting verses just writing about my daily life. I will commit to writing everyday, even if it is a little blurb of my life. I want to use this blog like a journal. So, I will just sit down and write!

It is raining today and even though I loved the bright sunny week we had, the rain makes everything so fresh and alive! I am an outside girl. When the sun is bright and the sky is blue, I find it difficult to do anything but be outdoors. The children and I spent this week mainly outdoors. The bigs also did all their school work outside, too. I am enjoying how much Michael loves the outdoors. The first thing he does in the morning is grab his shoes and run to the backdoor. It breaks my heart to tell him to wait. He doesn't understand that I am sin my pjs and haven't even had my morning cup of coffee!

Because the weather has been perfect, I was able to go running outdoors, again. I have been back into running daily for over a month now, but I have been putting my mileage mostly on my treadmill. I enjoy treadmill running, but when the weather is this perfect, I can't stay indoors! I love taking Michael and Zoey along with me, in the double jogging stroller when I run outside. Their company is precious. They love the ride and pushing them through my neighborhood is a great motivator. Sometimes they even find time to snooze off. Today, I will be back on the treadmill. I am not a run-outside-no-matter-what-type-of-person. I don't run in the cold, in the rain, in the snow, in the dark, or in the blazing heat.

Last night, I finally decided to not nurse Michael when he woke up at midnight. He is almost 18 months old, and I need a full night's rest! Can you believe that little terd fought me for five hours! He was NOT thrilled with the new arrangement. I finally was able to sleep for three hours before he woke up at eight. He is one stubborn dude! I am praying that tonight won't be a terrible. I am not holding my breathe, however.

Last week, a itchy rash appeared on the top of both hands. It has spread to my forearms. It itches pretty bad! I had PUPPPS in my first pregnancy, which was THE WORST! Unlike this rash, PUPPPS only manifested in the third trimester and spread from my belly, hips legs and torso. I have eczema sensitivity, so I did some research and discovered I have Atopic Eruption of Pregnancy (AEP).

I found this article at:

http://www.eadv.org/patient-corner/leaflets/eadv-leaflets/atopic-eruption-of-pregnancy-aep/

Atopic Eruption of Pregnancy (AEP)

What is Atopic Eruption of Pregnancy?
Atopy is the term used for the tendency to develop eczema, asthma and/or hay fever.

Atopic eczema is an inflammation of the skin causing dry and itchy skin. It can affect any part of the skin, including the face, but the areas most commonly affected are the flexures of the elbows, knees, wrists and neck. It affects both sexes equally and usually starts in the first weeks or months of life. It is most common in children, affecting at least 10% of infants. It can carry on into adult life or, after a silent period, may recur in the teenage or early adult life. Many ‘environmental’ factors can make eczema worse. These include heat, dust, contact with irritants such as soap or detergents, stress, and infections. Also during pregnancy, eczema frequently gets worse (see below).

Atopic Eruption of Pregnancy includes women who already have eczema but experience an exacerbation of the disease (which accounts for approximately 20% of AEP patients) and women with their first manifestation of eczema during pregnancy (which accounts for the remaining 80% of cases). These patients present with atopic skin changes for the first time during pregnancy, but they often have a history of sensitive skin with a tendency to dryness and irritation (so called atopic diathesis) and often have first degree relatives with eczema, asthma, and/or hay fever.
Atopic eruption of pregnancy usually develops during the first half of pregnancy (75% before the third trimester). AEP was previously also known as “prurigo of pregnancy” but this name has been abandoned because it did not cover the whole variety of skin changes that may be seen.

What causes Atopic Eruption of Pregnancy?
This is still not fully understood. Atopy runs in families (see below) and is part of your genetic make-up. Atopic people have an overactive immune system and their skin easily becomes inflamed (red and sore). Their skin ‘barrier’ does not work well, so that their skin may become dry and prone to infections. During pregnancy, the immune system changes considerably, which may lead to worsening of pre-existing eczema or to a first development of atopic skin changes. These changes are usually reversible after delivery; however, a small number of women may continue to have eczema in following pregnancies.

Does Atopic Eruption of Pregnancy run in families?Yes. Atopic eczema (as well as asthma and hay fever) tends to run in families. If one or both parents suffer from eczema, asthma, or hay fever, it is more likely that their children will get it too. Similarly, due to the genetic background, your sister or mother may also have experienced AEP during pregnancy. The probability is high that AEP will recur in successive pregnancies.

What are the symptoms of Atopic Eruption of Pregnancy and what does it look like?
The main feature is itch which can be bad enough to interfere with sleeping. The severity of the rash depends on the type of AEP. If you suffer from worsening of pre-existing eczema, it is likely that your skin will be red and dry. When the eczema is very active (during a ‘flare-up’) you may develop small water blisters on the hands and feet or your skin may become wet and weepy. In areas that are repeatedly scratched, the skin may thicken in response - a process known as lichenification. If you experience AEP for the first time during pregnancy, the rash is usually much milder. Two third of patients suffer from red scaly itchy patches (so called eczematous type or E-type AEP) in sites typically affected by atopic eczema such as the neck, breasts, and flexural parts of the limbs. The other third shows tiny red papules (1-2mm) or slightly larger nodules (5-10mm, at times with small open wounds (excoriations) due to scratching) on the abdomen, back, and limbs (so called prurigo type or P-type AEP).

How will Atopic Eruption of Pregnancy be diagnosed?
Worsening of already existing eczema is usually easy to diagnose by investigating your skin and taking your history. However, first manifestation of AEP may be more difficult to diagnose, it can be confused with other skin diseases such as scabies or a drug eruption, and other special skin diseases occurring in pregnancy. It is helpful to tell your doctor of a personal and/or family history of atopy and signs of the tendency to be atopic (so-called atopic diathesis, see above).

Will the baby be affected by Atopic Eruption of Pregnancy?
No, the mother’s rash causes no harm to the baby. However, due to the genetic background of AEP, the child may develop some kind of atopic disease (eczema, asthma and/or hay fever).

Can Atopic Eruption of Pregnancy be cured?
Not really; due to its genetic background, it cannot be cured as such. But there are many ways of controlling it. Especially the first development of AEP usually responds well to therapy and can easily be controlled.

How can Atopic Eruption of Pregnancy be treated?
The primary aim of treatment is to relieve the itch and to reduce inflammation / redness of the skin. It is also important to use treatments that are entirely safe for both mother and the unborn child. The treatments used most often are moisturisers and topical steroid creams or ointments.

Moisturisers (emollient creams and ointments) should be applied several times a day to prevent skin dryness. Many are available, and it is important that you choose one you like to use. Bath emollients and soap substitutes are also helpful in many cases. You should not take baths and showers too frequently; this will make your skin dry.

Topical steroid creams or ointments will settle severe redness and itching of your rash. They come in different strengths (potencies), and your doctor will advise you which type needs to be used at which site and for how long. In general it is advised to use low potency steroids for as short periods as possible. Topical steroids are usually applied once daily and should always be used in combination with moisturisers.

Most patients will respond quickly to mild or moderate steroid creams/ointments. However, if the rash can not be suppressed sufficiently, stronger topical steroids may be worth trying for short periods. Topically applied steroids are less likely to harm the mother and the unborn than steroids by mouth. It is difficult to know which are the best topical steroids to use, we know betamethasone and some other steroids cross the placenta easily so you should discuss with your doctor which preparation are best in your situation.

Steroid tablets are a last resort to control the condition, they should only be given in low doses and for short periods. Prednisolone is the steroid tablet of choice during pregnancy, it may be required for severe flares of eczema. Some patients may also benefit from additional ultraviolet light treatment (UVB), which is considered safe in pregnancy.

Antibiotics may be needed if your rash becomes wet and weepy, which may mean that it is infected by bacteria.

Topical immunosuppressants such as tacrolimus (Protopic®) and pimecrolimus (Elidel®) must be avoided as they are not licensed for the use in pregnancy.

In addition, oral antihistamines may help to relieve the itch. Antihistamines considered safe for the use in pregnancy are the non-sedating antihistamines loratadine and cetirizine; old, sedating antihistamines are usually considered safe, recommended areclemastine, dimethindene, (dex)chlorpheniramine (hydroxyzine should be avoided).

Is the treatment safe for the baby and mother? Is any special monitoring required?
Mild to moderately potent topical steroids are considered safe during pregnancy and your doctor will advise you in detail. Short courses (around 2 weeks) of prednisolone, the steroid tablet of choice in pregnancy, do not usually affect the unborn. However, high doses (above 10mg/day) of oral prednisolone administered during longer periods (more than 2 weeks) during the first 12 weeks of pregnancy seem to harbour an increased risk for the development of oral/palate clefts. Longer courses of steroid tablets (which are usually not necessary for the treatment of AEP) may also affect the baby’s development in general, in particular its growths. The pregnant women, like other patients taking steroid tablets, may for example develop diabetes (raised sugar levels), hypertension (raised blood pressure), and more striae. In such cases, careful observation of the blood pressure and urine checks are needed; ultrasound scans can monitor any changes regarding the baby’s development.

More Spotting

Once again, I woke up to discover a scant of brownish tinge of blood mixed with a bit of cervical mucus just visible on the toilet paper. It is a very small amount, but it worries me. Last night, I was having cramps and it felt like my cervix was also cramping. My thoughts is that my cervix may be the culprit. Extra blood flow to the cervix is normal now, so perhaps the stretching and growing of the uterus and extra blood flow is causing mild spotting. It could also be the old blood from the implantation of the egg. It is still within the normal time to actually see this type of bleeding. Praying that this is normal and I have no reason to be alarmed.

Baby White at Four Weeks

*Baby's brain and spinal Cord have begun to form.
*Baby's heart begins to form.
*Baby's arm and leg buds appear.
*Baby is 1/25 inches long and is now an embryo.

My Symptoms at Four Weeks:

1. Extreme fatigue
2. Dizziness
3. Increased thirst
4. Stuffed up nose
5. Break-outs on face and chest
6. Euphoric feelings
7. Cervical cramping

Implantation Bleeding?

This morning, after going to the bathroom, I wiped to find a mixture of cervical mucus and a tinge of brownish blood. I quickly prayed that it was not a miscarriage, but just a tinge of implantation bleeding. I went to the bathroom an hour later and I saw nothing on the toilet paper resembling blood. It makes since that this is just the tinge of blood that occurs when the egg burrows into the lining of the uterus. It is reasonable to guess that the sperm didn't fertilize the egg the same night I had intercourse. I know that my body was fertile that night, but I have no know idea when conception actually took place. Sperm can live up to seven days in the right conditions. I am praying that this is all normal and the baby is fine. The faint positive pregnancy line is more likely to resemble an early pregnancy, too. Keeping my fingers crossed!

Test # 2 (Morning Urine)

It's official (again), I am pregnant! The line is a beautiful light shade of  pink. Perfectly lovely.

Interesting, my symptoms are very intense!! My fatigue is so strong, I could barely keep my eyes open and HAD to sleep. This fatigue makes me feel lightheaded, and elated. It would be easy to misunderstand this physical change and succumb to despair and distress. Wisdom and experience has shown me to embrace this change and welcome these sensations. It is a wonderful sign that a baby is being wonderfully created inside me.

My husband already suspects that I am pregnant. It is really sweet and delights me that he is also intuitive. He will be so excited!

Two Pink Lines!!

It is so exciting to be pregnant again! This baby will be my 11th baby! Four of my babies never made it past the first trimester, so this will be my seventh child. I am an advanced age (older than 35), grand multipara pregnant woman (delivered more than five babies). I am 37 years old today and delivered six wonderful children.

By my calculations, the due date is January 10th, 2014. I am pretty confident when I ovulated and I am positive when I had intercourse.

I strongly suspected I was pregnant, and it gives me so much pleasure to confirm the pregnancies with a plastic stick & two beautiful pink lines! The "confirmation" pink line was just barely showing at the 1 min mark. In five minutes, I could definitively make out a faint line. In ten minutes, I didn't have to squint! I could hold it out at arms length and see the two lines.

Training Up My Children God's Way

God had my best interest in mind when He gave me my children. He says that children are a blessing, and they are! I love God so much! What a privilege I have been given to receive so many blessings. Of course, because He loves my precious children and He cares for their mother and father, I follow every instruction He gave me regarding how to parent them. Above all, I am to LOVE them as it is written in Titus 2:4. Loving my children requires a lot of deliberate care and this takes a lot of effort. It is so important that I do this and it is written that Mothers who choose to ignore this will cause God's word to be blasphemed (v 5). Naturally, I understand the seriousness that it is my responsibility to properly "train them up." Schools, church, government, and friends and family did not bring my children into the world. I did. So, I choose to follow God's way and raise them God's way. In Genesis 18:19, God approved of Abraham, because he commanded his children to keep the way of the Lord. In contrast, in 1 Samuel 3:12-14 , when Eli's sons became corrupt, God rebuked Eli; not the schools, the church, the government, or his family and friends. 

One of my favorite verses, Philippians 4:13, gives me the right amount of encouragement to keep my eyes focused on parenting my children with wisdom and Godliness: "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!" If my child was born with a serious mental or physical handicap, I would do all I could to properly care for them. I would learn all I could about their handicap and make sure they were given all the proper tools and devotion to live a wonderful life! Grace be to God, my own children were born healthy, but though their bodies are well, their very souls are in a position to become corrupt and lost. Satan is always seeking how to devour and destroy my children. So, with diligence, I learn all I can about how to raise my children in this fallen world. He wants me to protect their souls and to raise them to know, love, and obey Him. My children were not given to me do with them as I please. They are not my property. They are God's children given into my care, so I will raise them to be what He wants them to be.

Proverbs 22:6 is a mighty statement of truth: "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it."

This verse gives me confidence that, if I follow God's word, I can raise children to serve God and be saved! The way I parent my children will determine their eternal destiny. I love them and I also discipline them with godliness. It is my responsibility to teach them God's way and proper Godly discipline is the only way to do this! My children will not always have me around to guide their decisions. I must instill in them the understanding and habit of doing right, so they will serve God when they make their own decisions. I want my children to put God first in their lives. Ephesians 6:4 instructs me to bring my children up in the training and admonition of the Lord. Listen to this: " Do not withhold correction from a child. You shall beat him with a rod and deliver his soul from hell." (Proverbs 23:13-14) So, yes, I most certainly spank my children. No, I do not beat them or abuse them. I administer proper, loving spankings to keep them out of hell! 

In lieu with discipline, I give my children my time and attention, tempered with wisdom. Psalms 34:11  says, "Come, you children, listen to me; I will teach you the fear of the Lord." To accomplish this, I give my children many things money cannot buy: time, love, instruction in God's word, guidance in dealing with life's problems, an example of godliness, and training in moral purity. My husband doesn't work long hours so my children can have all we can afford to buy them. We choose to not over-provide for them. We teach them that everything they are given is to be received with humility and gratefulness. I never want my children to have a "the world owes me" mentality. In Luke 12:15, Jesus said, "Take heed and beware of covetousness, for one's life does not consist in the abundance of the things he possesses." He then told of a man who obtained great wealth but neglected God (16-21). When the man died, what good did his wealth do him? In Matthew 16:26, it says, "What is a man profited if he gains the whole world and loses his own soul?" Likewise, what profit is to my children if I give them all the world has to offer, but they are eternally lost? Deuteronomy 18:10 says, "There shall not be found among you anyone who makes his son or his daughter pass through the fire..." Most of us would not think of sacrificing a child to worship an idol. But covetousness is idolatry (Col. 3:5). Too many parents over-emphasize material pursuits: possessions, entertainment, education, popularity, beauty, sports, etc. Unknowingly, such parents are sacrificing their children to the idols of covetousness and worldliness.

My hometown is the place I want to be

It is no surprise that I love my hometown. San Diego is and will always be a part of me. Leaving home seven years ago was hard, but since I am a pretty adventurous person and enjoy discovering new and exciting places, I made the best of my years away from home. I plugged right into the culture and hub of the communities I lived in. I made great memories and enjoyed this time away from home. Even when I felt the normal pangs of being in a foreign place, I was patient with the transition of creating a new home. After all these years, however, one thing that never left my heart was the overwhelming need to recreate what I loved most about San Diego in all these new places. I'm not sure how to get over that, or even if I want too. My love of my hometown is so strong that no matter how well I've adapted, no place will ever satisfy my heart the way San Diego does. Truly, this reality is so strong, that I wont even qualify it as a "sickness" that needs to be eradicated. My love of my hometown is not weak, or a sign of spiritual immaturity, because I am not ungrateful or lack contentment. I know that God has given me all I need, and I am not in want of anything. With joy and ease, I can also celebrate that I can admit (without shame or regret), that I want to live my life in San Diego, and no place else. I am thankful that God only want's my life and He will use me no matter where I am. If it really doesn't matter where I serve Him, just so long as I do it with all my love and devotion, following my heart's call to return home will be OK.